


Uncompromising Situation

by kronette



Series: In Bed [4]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Back to Earth, M/M, Season/Series 10, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 22:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a few years since we last visited our lads. Things are not rosy on the small rouge one.  Nearly five months of falling into an exhaustive sleep that didn't involve sex had left their relationship strained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uncompromising Situation

**Author's Note:**

> Fluffy and fun has definitely left the building for this chapter.

Rimmer watched with trepidation as _Starbug_ caught back up with _Red Dwarf_. When it had come into visual communications range, he'd avoided the drive room altogether, instead hiding out in his quarters. He'd made the decision to move out after realizing that everything about their quarters was Lister and after the past nine days, he didn't think he could be with Lister anymore. Rather than suffer with reminders everywhere, he'd made the choice to move out.

Nearly five months of falling into an exhaustive sleep that _didn't_ involve sex had left their relationship strained. Technically, they'd still slept in the same bed, but they were on alternating repair shifts and barely kissed goodnight. Without a full crew and regular maintenance, _Red Dwarf_ had started to fall apart around them. No matter whose turn it was on the roster, one of them had been too tired for sex, while the other suffered with cold showers or their own hand.

Coming back from his shift nine nights ago to discover Lister not waiting for him in bed didn't come as the surprise it should have. At first he'd assumed his lover had gone to the lower decks to effect repairs. He'd found no note, though didn't worry too much about it. _Red Dwarf_ was the size of a small city; Lister could've only gotten in so much trouble. As the night drew close to midnight, worry niggled at him until he'd asked Kryten where Lister had gone. The mechanoid had cheerfully informed him that Lister had taken _Starbug_ to the planet they'd passed not a week ago.

Reeling from the shock, Rimmer had retreated to their quarters, his entire being numb. There'd been nothing on the sensors during his watch for months. He would have _remembered_ a planet with life signs. Lister probably had Kryten help him manipulate the data, then done a runner, telling Kryten – but not _him_ – where he'd gone. Lister hadn't even taken Cat. It took awhile, but it finally sank in: Lister had abandoned him.

=-=-=-=

Rimmer had worked himself into a rage by the time his errant lover hung his head out of _Starbug_. Lister's grin was lopsided; a sure sign that he was kerschnickered off his arse. Rimmer found neither the grin nor the drunkenness cute. He'd half a mind to shove Lister back in _Starbug_ and lob him toward the planet he'd just come from.

"Where the _smeg_ have you been?" he demanded, wanting to see if Lister would admit to it to his face.

"I told Kryten where I'd be," Lister slurred and hung on to the side of _Starbug_ for support. "He was sh'pposed to tell you."

Rimmer barked out a dangerous laugh. "Oh, yes, the bog-bot told me not to worry about you, but he refused to tell me where you actually _were_. Nearly four years together and he still refuses to acknowledge that we're a couple!"

Lister got misty-eyed, though it didn't faze Rimmer. Not even Lister's, "Aww, I love you, Rimsy," and sappy look deflected his ire.

"Don't you dare try to distract me," Rimmer hissed, releasing some of the anger he'd been cultivating for days. "I had to wait until Kryten's down-time to search the ship's log and sensors. What I found was too horrible to contemplate. You're better than that, I thought. You had _me_ , I thought. Why would the man who claims to love me need a _pleasure-GELF planet_?" he spat, making it sound as dirty and sordid as it was.

Lister stumbled down the stairs, sobering with each step. "Don't be like that, Arnie. Just needed a vacation. Somewhere different."

"Somewhere away from me _and_ the Cat _and_ Kryten," Rimmer clarified as he crossed his arms and glared. "Don't call it anything other than what it was, Lister: a booty call. You wanted to have sex with someone else. I hope it was good enough to last you the rest of your life, because you won't be touching _me_ again; that's a promise."

The big, soulful eyes fixated on him as Lister reached out and whined, "Arnie."

Rimmer took a step back and tightened his arms around himself, ignoring his base need to hold and comfort his lover. "No."

Lister's tone shifted to the pleading desperation that usually had Rimmer on his knees pleasuring him in two seconds flat. " _Please_ , Arnold."

Rimmer's resolve started to waver, but he held tighter to his anger and accused, "You didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face where you were going – you expected Kryten to do your dirty work for you. I bet you can't do now, either," he taunted. "You're too much a coward to admit you went there for sex."

Lister scrubbed at his face tiredly, every bit of him looking like the week-long bender he'd apparently been on. "I'm sorry, okay? Yeah, I went to a pleasure-GELF planet, because it was _full of people_. The only excitement we get anymore is when one of the rogue droids challenges us to a duel across time and space. Don't you ever want something different, Arnold?"

He sniffed. "You know I have for most of my life. But for the past four years, I _haven't_ wanted anything different." He fixed Lister with a cutting look. "Just you."

He saw how his words affected Lister; how his shoulders drooped like a punctured balloon. Lister's voice was strained as he lamented, "How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you believe it?"

Rimmer's chest and neck flushed hotly with indignation. "It would be a lot easier to believe if you hadn’t just come back from a trip to a pleasure-GELF planet. Actions speak louder than words, Lister, and your actions were pretty damn loud."

Sudden anger flashed in Lister's eyes. "What if I told you that five of _you_ were there to greet me? All wearing that smegging dark blue tunic and shiny shoes, hair looking like I'd just run my fingers through it?" Lister stated, to Rimmer's horror.

"You had an orgy – with _five_ of me?" He was vaguely in awe. "We've had our kinky fun, Dave, but…"

" _Will you shut the smeg up about sex_?" Lister shouted. "I wasn't _there_ for sex. I _told_ them I wasn't looking for sex; just some company. I drank and played cards with Petersen, Chen and Selby, reliving old times. I even had a few laughs with me old mates from Earth. Only it wasn't enough. Maybe it's because I knew it wasn't really them, but it felt hollow. Like looking through a photo album but not remembering where the pictures were taken, or what you were doing in them. I started feeling a bit low, and that's when another GELF appeared."

Rimmer didn't like that look on Lister's face at all. It was humiliation and dread and embarrassment and getting caught. He didn't even know what to brace himself for, so through gritted teeth, he said, "Get on with it. Who was it?"

Lister shifted on his feet, swaying back and forth slightly. "It was you. Sort of you, with some…modifications."

Rimmer started to get a very sick feeling in his gut. "What. Did. You. Conjure. Up?"

Lister's hands twisted in front of him and he wouldn't look Rimmer in the eye. "You know you're the first man I've slept with. I'd kissed Petersen when we were blotto a few times, but nothing happened beyond that. Me whole life, I thought I wanted women exclusively. When the melancholy settled over me, I got to thinking about all my girlfriends from Earth. What sort of lives they'd had, if they'd ever thought of me, what would have happened if I'd never left Earth."

Rimmer desperately wanted Lister to _shut up_ , but he couldn't find his voice. He'd had to listen to Lister going on about his conquests for years before they started sleeping together; he certainly didn't want to hear about them now.

Lister's voice got quieter as he continued, "Then I started thinking about you and what my life would be like now without you. How empty it would be. That's when the GELF appeared. His Rimmer was younger than the others; sort of back to when you'd just gotten your hard light drive. He was in that red quilted tunic and tight black pants you used to wear – the ones that hugged your arse. I didn't stand a chance. Before I knew it, we were in each other's arms, kissing."

Rimmer's stomach churned with jealousy and betrayal, but some perverse part of him wanted Lister to continue; to hear what his GELF doppelganger gave his lover that he couldn't.

"I was kissing you and he kissed like you, _just_ like you, with the soft whine at the back of your throat and nibbling on my lower lip before slipping your tongue inside my mouth. When he pulled my hand up to his chest, I didn't realize at first that it was touching a female breast."

It took Rimmer precious seconds to process what Lister had said, but by then, Lister was seemingly lost in his fantasy with the GELF-Rimmer. "God, those were some amazing breasts. Do you know how long it's been since I've fondled a breast?" Rimmer felt faint and nauseated at Lister's shuddering sigh. "Yeah, maybe I got too into it, but I thought he was _you_. Everything he was doing, was _you_. He did that soft groan thing in me ear, licking at the side of my neck – _you_ know – and I got into his pants to wrap my hand around his erection." Lister's voice grew strained and he stumbled over his next words. "Only it wasn't – he had a – it was dripping wet –"

"Shut it! Just _stop talking_!" Rimmer shouted, unable to stomach any further graphic details of Lister's perversion. His stomach bottomed out and he feared losing his lunch. "You – _how could you_?" he choked, too mortified, too disgusted, too _everything_. "You created a female me and you had sex with it!" he cried, tears burning his eyes.

"No, I didn't," Lister insisted hotly.

"What the hell do you call it, then; playing tennis?" Rimmer snapped. His fingernails dug into his palms as he shook with a mass of jealousy, anger and betrayal. His face burned as he asked, "Was fucking my twat as good as buggering my arse?"

Lister's head jerked back as though he'd been slapped, then he went very still and ashen. "I _didn't_ fuck him. When my fingers slipped inside him, he got _that_ look; _your_ look, and I couldn't help myself. I got him off," he admitted shame-faced. "But even a pleasure-GELF can't imitate a person perfectly. When he came, it felt like I'd been punched in the gut because he unmistakably wasn't _you_. I realized what I'd done and I started crying. I locked myself in _Starbug_ , too afraid to come back to you. Afraid you'd act exactly like you're acting now. Afraid you'd tell me to go to hell."

"I should," Rimmer snarled, glaring at the man he thought he knew. "I should open the landing bay doors and let you be sucked into space. Your little stunt down there proves you've only been sleeping with me because there isn't a female around."

Lister was trembling, eyes filled with tears. "What? No, Arnold, I love you! You _have_ to believe me."

"No, I smegging well _don't_ ," Rimmer declared angrily. "You love me so much you sneaked off to that planet _alone_. You love me so much you envisioned a version of me that had _female genitalia_ ," he said, building up to seething anger. "Do you have any clue how little that makes me feel? You've managed to find a new and ingenious way to hurt me that no other being in all of creation has done. _You_ , Lister!" He was breathing hard, on the verge of tears. "I gave you my heart and my trust and you betrayed both without a thought." He felt the hot tears slip down his cheeks and shook his head. "Not again. Not ever again."

"Don't say that, please," Lister begged. "I _do_ love you. I got scared, is all. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

His laugh was hollow. "You got scared? Lister, I've been with two women and one man my whole life. That's the entirety of my sexual and relationship history. Your first sexual experience was at age 12. If anyone has the smegging right to be scared, it's me." He took a deep breath, feeling some of his anger seep away, leaving a hollow space in his chest. "I didn’t know how any of this works, but _you_ taught me. You told me that we're supposed to talk to each other; to trust each other. You've betrayed _everything_ you told me couples should do." Tears slipped down his cheeks. "I agonized every waking minute over what you were doing and who you were having sex with, _hating_ that you chose to go without saying a word. Feeling like I wasn't enough for you; had never been enough, and you were only using me until something better came along. When you didn't come back in two days, I figured you'd found what you were looking for. I didn't bother going after you. I wasn’t going to chase you down and force you back if you didn't want me."

"But I _do_ want you," Lister cried, the hurt in his eyes as deep as Rimmer's own. "I wanted you for so smegging long, but you were too stuck up to see. I seduced you because I wanted _you_ , Arnold, not some smegging imposter. I shouldn't have done it and I hate myself for what I've put you through. If it takes the rest of my life, I'll make it up to you." 

"Do you honestly think there's anything that could possibly make up for what you've done to me?" he asked quietly, himself unsure if he could ever forgive Lister.

Determination shone from Lister's red-rimmed eyes. "I'll find a way, Arnold. I'm not giving you up that easily. It took too smegging long to get you."

The sentiment made Rimmer feel warm, even if it didn't reach his heart. It was still in lockdown. "You'll have plenty of time. I've moved out of our quarters," he stated quietly, without recrimination. "I just don’t think I can be around you right now. Not after this." He turned and walked back to his quarters, the devastated expression on his lover's face forever etched into his memory.

=-=-=-=

The morning after he'd confronted Lister, he woke to find a breakfast tray outside his quarters. Since Kryten had never done such a thing, he surmised it had to have been Lister. It was filled with his favorite foods, except the raspberry jam. He hated raspberry and he knew for a fact that Lister knew it as well. It was _Lister's_ favorite, and it had been put in a little cup by itself. Feeling a whole new set of conflicting emotions, he took the tray inside but could barely eat a bite.

As nice as the gesture was, he couldn't face Lister just yet, especially not on a six-hour shift. He located Cat and asked if he'd switch to afternoon watch with him, which Cat readily agreed.

"Man, I wish you'd asked me years ago," Cat lamented. "I'd love having more primping time to get ready. You think this natural beauty happens naturally? It takes work!"

While Rimmer didn't see Lister, the day contained other small gestures that made his heart lurch painfully. His favorite tea in his favorite mug, sat on a warmer at his chair in the drive room. When he went to his quarters to prepare lunch, he found in the fridge a sandwich sliced into perfect quarters, with a smear of mustard on one half of the bread, mayonnaise on the other, thinly sliced turkey, lettuce, onion and three pickle slices. Exactly how he liked it. Tears blurred his vision – Lister was showing him that he _knew_ him; that he'd paid attention all those years and that he wasn't just in it for the sex. He left the sandwich in the fridge and took out a frozen meal instead, unable to stomach something made with such care.

When Rimmer turned on the ship's vid that night, he saw it was preloaded with his favorite shows, including the rare American classic, _Victory South_. He shut it off and buried his face in his palms, torn between hating Lister and desperately wanting him back. No, that wasn't true; he hated that Lister cheated on him and lied to him. He _loved_ Dave, like he'd loved no one else his entire life or death. If a parade of naked women materialized in a queue to his bed, he'd give them a good once-over, nod politely and go back to Lister, no hesitation. He just couldn't say for certain that Lister would do the same and it was killing him.

He slept fitfully, as he had done since Lister left. His new quarters were too quiet; too sterile. They weren't lived-in or homey or any of the things he'd taken for granted. Cat didn’t barge in to check his reflection or steal some milk. Kryten didn't bustle in with the mail or reports or even to clean.

Miserable, he lay on his back and stared at the high ceiling, wishing it were closer.

=-=-=-=

Despite the obvious slight of the shift change, Lister continued to surprise him with the things he remembered, and Rimmer continued to be overwhelmed at the littlest things. He had no doubt Lister was as miserable as he was, but Rimmer needed time to let his heart and trust heal.

On the sixth night after Lister returned, Rimmer found the red satin rose he'd worn to their dinner date all those years ago, resting on his pillow. He twirled it slowly between his fingers, lost in thought. He didn't notice time passing until his alarm went off, signaling the morning.

He went through the motions the rest of the day, unable to believe that Lister had kept that rose, and he hadn't known about it.

Cat joined him on afternoon watch again, which was normally the time he and Lister were alone in the drive room. He missed Lister here the most, even moreso than in his bed. They became friends here; teasing each other and sharing jokes and just being together. And when the occasional snog or grope happened, it made the shift go by that much faster. Cat was pleasant enough company, but he wasn't who Rimmer wanted. His disappointment faded as Cat handed him a piece of paper. No - it was a card done up with embossing and foil, in a striking blue that matched his tunic. His eyes welled up as he read the invitation:

 

_Mr. David Lister requests the pleasure of your company for_

_Dinner and Conversation_

_Quarters A22, Level 544_

_7:30 pm_

_Dress comfortably_

 

And at the bottom, written in Lister's scribble, were the words, "Please, Arnie. I miss you."

He looked to Cat, who was staring at him with dismay. "I know you don't like him right now, but the dude's hurting, man. He knows he messed up and he's tearing himself apart, trying to think of ways to make it up to you. He doesn't know I'm asking you this, but would you show up? You don’t have to forgive him right away, but at least give him a chance to have his say."

He looked down at the invitation, thumb rubbing on the gilding. "You always side with him. Why is that?" he asked quietly.

Cat punched some buttons on the console, bringing up the local area. "I'm not on anybody's side."

Rimmer turned to face him fully. His voice held a bit of heat as he asked, "Then why weren't you offering me pep talks when he was gone?"

Cat gave him a sidelong glance. "You didn't ask."

He turned back to his monitors, feeling a flush creeping up his neck. It never occurred to him to ask for help; he assumed Cat or Kryten would see how distraught he was and offer their sympathy. He chewed on his lower lip in consternation. Maybe he wasn't so great at relationships, either. Lister's betrayal was no longer the open wound it had been, but it still hurt if he prodded it too much. He couldn't fully let it go, but it no longer consumed him. He gave a short nod; he could hear Lister out.

=-=-=-=

Rimmer opted not to change his appearance for dinner. Lister had often complimented the color of his uniform, usually as he was peeling the tunic off his shoulders. He figured simplest was best for this meeting.

He'd never been to this part of the ship. It seemed as though Lister had picked as far-out a place as conceivably possible from their living quarters. Maybe that was the point. The door was open when he got to A22, but he stood nervously outside, fearing his heart just might come up his throat.

Lister came into his field of vision and he inhaled sharply. He didn't think it was the same suit he'd worn on their first formal date, but it was definitely a strong effort on Lister's part to recreate it. Even a single taper candle stood on the cloth-covered table, though it was unlit. The lights were on and he watched Lister fiddle with the place settings.

Realizing Lister was just as nervous as he was, Rimmer cleared his throat. "Am I early?" he asked, mouth dry as the soil on Io.

Lister spun to face him, eyes wide. "No! No, it's fine," he gushed, taking a step toward Rimmer, then hesitating. "You're probably wondering why I picked somewhere we'd never explored. That's why I picked it. Completely neutral territory; no memories whatsoever for either of us."

Touched by the effort Lister was making, Rimmer nodded approvingly. "It's a good choice. You look – good," he sighed; familiar desire warming his insides.

He saw Lister swallow. "You've always looked amazing, Arnold. I didn't tell you enough."

Rimmer held up his hand to stall any further compliments. "Let's not start that way. Not with apologizing or explanations. I know you're sorry. You've said it with every mug of tea, every sandwich, every detail you've dredged up in our relationship from the past four years." He uncurled his hand, showing Lister the silk rose, now stained with his sweat. "Why didn't you tell me you'd kept this?" he asked softly.

Lister didn't break his gaze. "It was a reminder to me of how much you'd changed. Ever since I discovered that I liked you, I've been picking away at your aloof exterior. I peeled back layer after layer, discovering another part of you to love. When you said you loved me back, I didn't think it could get any better. You've proved me wrong again and again. I've watched you change into this fun, creative, sexy man, and that night –" Lister nodded toward the rose, "I watched you struggle to overcome your inhibitions. You looked so sweet, so innocent and unsure, even though I know you can be a randy bugger. That you would do that for me, because you loved me –" Lister's eyes filled with tears. "It made me feel small, like I wasn’t doing enough to show you how much I loved you. And it made me feel huge, like I could crush a mountain with a flick of my finger."

Rimmer felt his lips tremble.  He barely held his tears back as he asked the question he'd been wanting to know the answer to for three weeks: "Then why did you leave me?"

Lister stepped forward, eyes snapping through a sheen of tears. "I'm stupid, that's why. I'm stupid and petty and cruel. I felt like I'd loved you a bit more each day, and finally, it got to me. You know how all my relationships ended in the past: I'd get bored, or I'd think there was something better out there and I'd run. Only now, there isn't anyone to run to. It's just _us_. The idea of settling down had always been a fantasy. I'd only thought of it in the abstract, not the practical. The day-to-day sameness of being with the same person was worse than death. At least that's what I'd always thought." Lister reached out and took his hand, holding it between his. Lister's palms were as sweaty as his own. "The pleasure-GELFs gave me one thing, Arnold. They showed me that no matter what, I loved _you_. Every GELF on that planet gave me you." Lister's head dipped the slightest bit and he seemed to shrink in on himself. "Even the one who was female."

That was the 800 pound gorilla in the room – why Lister would choose to make him female. Rimmer had had time to think on it, and he thought he had an answer. It left a bad taste in his mouth, but he had to know; the not knowing was killing him. His voice was strained as he asked, "Was I your last resort? Was I just a substitute because we're out here alone, without any women?"

"No," came the quick, decisive answer. "I've loved women my whole life, Arnold, but I've loved you for going on seven years. Just because I loved someone in the past doesn't mean I don’t love you right this very second. And I do, more than I could ever show you, but I'll keep on trying until the day I die."

The love shining from Lister's eyes undid him. One breath, and he had Lister's face between his palms, the rose crushed against Lister's cheek as Rimmer kissed him like the world was ending.

They rested their foreheads together, harsh breaths mingling between them. Belatedly, Rimmer's brain caught up with his emotions. "Seven years? But we've only been together four."

Lister squeezed the back of his neck and a cheeky grin curled his mouth. "I told you I loved you the night I seduced you; remember? It took years and infinite patience, but I finally wore you down. I got you to see that you loved me, too."

Rimmer couldn't help but poke the drowsing dragon. "So if a parade of naked women materialized right now?"

Lister didn't miss a beat. "I'd tell them to smeg off. I've got who I want to spend the rest of my life with."

He sagged against Lister, suddenly too exhausted to move. "I've missed you," Rimmer murmured and lightly kissed the full, tempting lips so close to his own.

"It's been hell without you," Lister said softly with a catch in his voice. Rimmer felt Lister's hands in his hair, twisting the curls around his fingers. "Don't want to eat. Can't sleep."

Rimmer idly toyed with Lister's dreads and sighed. "Me, either." He glanced over and saw the bunk beds were neatly made. Trust Kryten to keep the entire ship, even the parts they never visited, neat and tidy. "Come to bed, Dave," he begged softly. "Just to sleep," he amended as gently as he could.

He felt Lister's nod. "Yeah, that sounds nice, Arnold. Need you next to me."

They broke apart to remove most of their clothing, crawling into bed in their underwear.

Lister heaved a sigh and nuzzled at his neck. "I've missed smelling you," he murmured.

Rimmer closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Yes, that was what he'd missed, too. That, and the warmth. His hands soaked up the warmth of Lister's back, urging him closer until they were pressed chest-to-chest, hip-to-hip, with arms wrapped around each other. When Lister's leg slid between his, he had to bite his lip to keep from moaning, but he was too tired to do anything about it.

"Love Arn," Lister murmured sleepily.

"Lurrffffdaafff," he sighed, more than halfway to sleep.

 


End file.
